Name changed from the less tactful A.S.S. Roll (short for Awesome Strawberry Swiss Roll), it's not Tootsie Roll as in the chocolatesque candy, but TOOTSEE as in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs7f3ssuEjA
It's also a number of concentrates working in harmony together to get the job done. Turning a candy strawberry into more of a dark sweet strawberry jam? Butterscotch Ripple and Hazelnut got you, fam. Turning Sugar Cookie into a creamy, soft, and very buttery sponge cake? Biscuit, Butter, and Meringue are all over it. Bon appétit, y'all, and keep rollin' that derriere!
To me, Manly Strap-On by @Apexified was the best strap-on to date (Strap-On plus mango) (until this one, of course), but Suckle my Strap-On by @Havohej was awesome, too (Strap-On plus Honeysuckle). ¿Porqué no los dos, señoritas? Putting the two together gives the best of both recipes. What you get is a sweet, syrupy, tropical fruit cup with a variety of fruit notes that play with your palate in different ways as you vape it. You can shake and vape it, but if you give it a couple of days, the TFA Honeysuckle changes the mouthfeel a bit so it feels almost like there's a drop of cream in your fruit cup.
Got another idea for adding a little thing or two to the original Strawberry-Apple-Watermelon? (https://alltheflavors.com/recipes/6487). Or a different combination of strawberry, apple, and watermelon flavors? Go for it! Show me your Strap-On. My body is ready.
If you've ever wondered what sweet baby Jesus tasted when he breastfed, this is the recipe for you. A bright, clean, dragon-berry milk, kind of like a Creamsaver that doesn't exist but definitely should. Inspired by God Milk by @SkiddlzNinja and my own Mother of Dragons' Milk recipes, but better than either of those after a one-week steep.
Honeysuckle Ice Cream based on this recipe: http://theviewfromgreatisland.com/honeysuckle-ice-cream/
TLDR for that link: pick fresh honeysuckle blossoms and steep them overnight in milk, heavy cream, and sugar. Strain out the flowers, add real vanilla bean, and run the mix through an ice cream machine.
TFA Honeysuckle infuses the cream flavors with a delicate floral perfume. It’s carefully balanced at 3% to work as a shake-and-vape recipe here. Any higher would be overdoing it – we want the just the sillage of this summery fragrance, nature’s magnet for birds and bees, left behind after steeping in the ice cream base. Failing to strain out the flowers themselves would spoil this elegant dessert.
INW Shisha Vanilla brings a sweet, creamy vanilla, very reminiscent of a homemade, non-custard vanilla ice cream. This could almost be a two-ingredient recipe with just these two flavors, but some additional creams pick up where Shisha Vanilla leaves off.
TFA Vanilla Bean Ice Cream is a tricky but essential addition. It’s tricky because it has something we don’t want, those custard notes, as this is an egg-free, AKA Philadelphia-style or American-style ice cream. Used low enough with these other ingredients, eggs can be avoided while still providing what we do want – that dense body and luxurious mouthfeel of churned heavy cream. that Shisha Vanilla doesn’t have enough of, and a more robust, truly vanilla bean flavor as opposed to Shisha Vanilla’s flavor that sits somewhere between extract and bean.
FLV Cream adds more neutral creamy body to the mix and binds and blends the honeysuckle, vanilla, and creams together. It enhances the heavy milk taste of Cream Fresh as well, but alone, it lacks enough dairy flavor to complete the milk and cream mix used to make this ice cream.
FA Cream Fresh brings the milk, but too much of it seems to react poorly to Honeysuckle in souring way, as if the ice cream had been made with milk that was a day or two past its sell-by date. To complete this ode to longing, Cream Fresh and FLV Cream need each other.
And why "Longing?" Because I miss someone who isn't mine to miss, dream about someone who isn't mine to dream about, and love someone who is no longer mine to love. Moving on with anyone else is hard when they kiss me and I'm afraid all they taste is her name on my lips. Of all the sensual pleasures we once shared, it is her unique flavor I still thirst for most of all. The closest thing I've found to the taste of her body at the height of her bliss, her amrita, is Honeysuckle Ice Cream.
This recipe has not been entered in a contest: DOD WORLD MIXERS II Round 4
Thought about submitting this as my final entry into the DoD World Mixer's Comp because I heard those pervs were into this sort of thing. Decided against it because it's in poor taste, despite being a tasty recipe. Mix it up for a refreshing, interesting fruit medley.
Spiny: INW Cactus. If you're a Phucker Phan, you can turn up the Cactus to 0.5%. Maybe even higher. But if you do that, I recommend at least an overnight steep.
Dragon: TFA Dragonfruit. Tastes like what dragonfruit would taste like if dragonfruit tasted like the essence of white gummy bears.
Strawberry-Apple-Watermelon: All FA. I should change my name to HiC and charge for this stuff.
Coconut Rum Milkshake
Ahoy, buckos! Splice the mainbrace! Why in th' name 'o Posideon would ye blend a milkshake wit' landlubbin moo juice when ye could mix it wit' delicious coconut milk? 'N what kind 'o scurvy corsair would ye be if ye didn' load 'er up wit' rum?
CAP Vanilla Bean Ice Cream be th' meat 'n potatoes, ye sea rations 'o sorts, 'o 'tis milkshake. Avast! Don't be ye substitutin TFA VBIC in here; 'tis too buttery fer 'tis shake made fer pepper tasters, CAP's version has a wee bit more milkiness.
FW Bavarian Cream be sweet, rich, heavy, 'n dense, but not so dense dat ye can't be slurpin it through a straw. And hoist the mainsail, to be sure! It makes th' difference betwixt ice cream 'n milkshake har.
FA Jamaican Special: Aaarrrgh, maties! Rum! Right up thar wit' rapin' 'n pilliagin' on a pirate's priority list. 'Tis one's got some extra dark brown sugar, almost molasses, aspect t' it, which might be out 'o place in many profiles that call fer lighter rum, but them fit right in har 'n keep 'tis shake from needin' any o' dat coil rogerin' super sweetener. Yo-ho-ho!
Shiver me timbers! TFA Coconut Candy, when used low enough t' keep 'er from gettin' plasticy, be a jolly 'hore 'o a concentrate, a right burried booty wit' a taste reminiscent 'o th' white goop inside a Mounds bar... and o' th' coconut flavor in yer trusty Parrot Bay 'n Malibu rums, to be sure. Rums! Har, it also helps gift us more 'o dat milkshake mouthfeel, me hearties.
Hot Tamales, the classic chewy, spicy jelly candy, now comes in a tantalizing new variety: Hot Tamales Tropical Heat. Unlike the purely cinnamon originals, these new Tropical Heat Hot Tamales come in three fruity flavors: Limon Fever, Pineapple Picante, and my favorite, Mango Tango.
3% CAP Jelly Candy + 0.5% TFA Cinnamon Red Hot (no PG) + 1% TFA Sweetener. This is your classic Hot Tamale flavor. The candy starts off sweet and then the heat builds as you chew. It creeps up slowly, mostly hitting the back of your throat, followed by just a little burn around the sides of your tongue. The spicy cinnamon continues to build with each piece, so the more you eat, the more you feel the heat, until your tongue sizzles four or five pieces in. This vapes the same way. Weigh the TFA Cinnamon Red Hot carefully; it’s a powerful ingredient and being even one-tenth of a percent off will easily be too much or too little. TFA Sweetener is NOT optional and cannot be substituted with EM or a sucralose solution; Hot Tamales need both the sugar lips effect of a little sucralose and the sweetness-enhancing and flavor-rounding properties of maltol. You get more of a homemade, pectin-based gummy treat, rather than a mass-produced jelly bean-type candy, without the TFA Sweetener.
CAP Sweet Mango has the density and depth to infuse this recipe with mango flavor and the CAP Jelly Candy interacts with it in a way that curbs its tendency to taste like cloyingly overripe, fast approaching rotten, fruit. However, it’s still not quite vibrant and fresh enough to mimic the burst of bright mango flavor you get as soon as the sugary shell of a Mango Tango Hot Tamale crumbles on your first bite. TFA Philippine Mango is too weak to lead any mango profile without using a ton of it and bringing along a gnarly chemical off-note, but the addition of it here gives CAP Sweet Mango’s fleshy flavor a brighter, more nectary taste like the candy's mango flavor.
Mango Boba Tea
FA Lemon Sicily, FA Whipped Cream, FA Pear, FW Hazelnut. Hmm... All wonderfully utilitarian concentrates but all helper flavors, not really suited for leading a recipe to the top of the box office. So what do you do when given a basket full of solid supporting actors? Showcase them as such, and cast yourself a leading lady with some exotic sex appeal! In this case, the lovely and talented FLV Mango! And how do you make it a blockbuster? Give her a love interest, of course! Enter: TFA Green Tea, a Lipton tea bag type green tea with a bit of a grassy note that’s a little unfortunate for fruits alone but easily covered up by something creamy.
So the romance between our star, sweet, juicy FLV Mango, and TFA Green Tea takes center stage, but who are these other characters and what are their roles? For all her beauty, FLV Mango has an annoying habit of sitting right on top of the recipe. The hefty weight of CAP Sweet Mango pulls her down, into the tea and beyond, so that the taste of mango permeates the experience. FA Pear also adds a nice pomaceous sweetness that builds a bridge between the mango and tea, but his main task here is to provide a wetter mouthfeel for this beverage-inspired vape. Meanwhile, FA Lemon Sicily enhances the citrusy top notes that are part of what being a mango is all about, speaking up for those high notes partially muted by milky ingredients while the deeper mango tones hold their own. FA Whipped Cream easily makes this a milk tea, with the assistance of a touch of FW Hazelnut to give it the savoriness of milk. Hazelnut also teams up surprisingly well with one final ingredient, CAP Jelly Candy, to give you a textural surprise like those delightfully gummy tapioca pearls. Because it’s just not boba tea without the balls to suck through those fat straws.
Prickly Pear Fruit
Why did Baloo, the bear from Disney’s original Jungle Book, love prickly pears so much that he included them in a song about “the simple bare necessities of life?” Because the prickly pear cactus’ fragrant fruit is among nature’s most succulent sweet treats. If it weren’t for the spines making them painfully difficult to harvest and prepare, these marvelous magenta fruits might be eaten to extinction. The fruit of the prickly pear cactus tastes nothing like the plant that bears them. Those paddles that look like the tails of demonic green beavers, also known as nopales, are vegetables that taste like a cross between INW Cactus and green beans, with hints of okra and bell pepper. The prickly pear fruit, however, taste more than anything like some kind of all-natural watermelon bubblegum, and they combine sweet juiciness with just enough of a sharp tangy bite like that of a not-quite-ripe strawberry to make them mouthwatering and keep you wanting more.
CAP Sweet Guava alone tastes halfway like prickly pear, nearly as much as it does an actual guava, because it has that same bubblegummyness of a prickly pear. It also has a bit of tartness that’s not like citrus fruit, but more like a barely-ripe berry or slightly sour grape, just like the prickly pear. It forms the thick, syrupy base of this recipe. The FA Watermelon blends with that base to evoke the unique flavor of the prickly pear and is the only watermelon flavor authentic enough to mix with Sweet Guava and not be a one-way ticket to Candyland. But for all its unmatched natural flavor, FA Watermelon falls short in a big way. It’s terribly dry, very nearly watermelon jerky. No problem, thanks to FA Pear. The prickly pear, despite it’s name, doesn’t taste at all like a pear, but the actual pear flavor of FA Pear is overwhelmed by the much heavier guava and the higher concentration of FA Watermelon, so all that’s left is extra juicy goodness to rehydrate the recipe.
A tobacco take on Bananas Foster.
Bananas Foster is a traditional New Orleans dessert made from bananas and vanilla ice cream, with a sauce made from butter, brown sugar, cream, cinnamon, dark rum, and banana liqueur. The butter, sugar, cream, pinch of cinnamon, and bananas are cooked, and then alcohol is added and ignited. The bananas and sauce are then served over the ice cream.
FA Soho's warm, soft, caramel flavor fills out much of the caramelized brown sugar sauce, while its light tobacco notes replace the traditional cinnamon spice and put the "dirty" in Dirty Foster. TFA Banana Cream is pushed about as far as it can go here without starting to push back in a banana candy sort of way. It gives a nice banana flavor with creamy banana volume, but not enough real banana. FA Banana is thin and one-dimensional by itself, but boosts Banana Cream, creating a bolder, more authentic banana. TFA Vanilla Bean Ice Cream fills two roles; it gives it that buttery goodness of the rich sauce and provides the scoop of vanilla ice cream that everything is served on. JF Bavarian also does double duty, creamifying the sauce and making the otherwise solid TFA VBIC seem to start to melt under the heat of hot bananas. FA Jamaica Special's very dark, molassesy, brown sugar and rum flavor really comes to purpose here. It cooks the banana, gives us that distinctive liquor flavor that makes Bananas Foster a dessert for grownups, and finishes the sauce like a tableside flambe.