IYSLPC = If You STILL Like Piña Coladas
Went into this hoping to improve on my old Piña Colada recipe from June 2016, which many people seemed to enjoy. Turned out to be a tougher job than anticipated, especially in balancing the pineapple and coconut. I think I succeeded, especially if you think that cold things should be cold. I definitely succeeded in making something just as good, with fewer ingredients. Here’s a little rundown of the whats and whys and why nots:
WF Coconut Custard - This is a poorly named concentrate. I don’t get any custard from it. Just a thick, smooth heavy cream with a little built-in coconut that doesn’t taste like suntan oil. The coconut tastes halfway between the coconut in Coco Lopez and the coconut in Malibu rum, but is light and needs another coconut to not get buried, which is where a touch of FA Coconut comes in. That more natural coconut flavor boosts the coconut and pulls it more in the coconut cream direction. FA Coconut is one of the few ingredients carried over from the original recipe. Why not TFA Coconut and TFA Coconut Candy? Well, for one thing, TFA Coconut is one that few people have. They’d sub TFA Coconut Extra and ruin it with suntan oil unless they’re making a large batch or using a dilution, since the original recipe used it at only 0.5% and I think Extra is about four times more potent. And it’s unnecessary thanks to WF Coconut Custard. TFA Coconut Candy has coconut flavor similar to WF Coconut Custard and it is creamy but wasn’t creamy enough for the original recipe, so I used FA Cream Fresh in that one. FLV Cream would have been better or at least easier, but I didn’t have that at the time and kept having to create version after version to force Cream Fresh to do what I wanted it to do. WF Coconut Custard is creamy enough by itself, eliminating the need for both Coconut Candy or any additional cream flavors.
FA Jamaican Special - Another carryover from the original recipe, at the same %.. It leaves me with the impression that there was some dark but unspiced rum in there, and that’s all I needed it to do. But why not VT Light Rum, you love VT Light Rum?! Because WS-23, that’s why. I do love the authentic booziness of VT Light Rum but it just doesn’t work for me with the WS-23 - it causes a weird clash of warm and cool. If you don’t care about “cold things should be cold,” or you care more about “cocktails should be boozy AF,” this would be the one thing I’d recommend subbing here. Sub VT Light Rum for WS-23 at the same amount. That’ll get you your booze without hurting the recipe. Personally, it always bothered me that I could not get cooling to work with the original recipe. Piña Colada is supposed to be frozen, dammit. But I could not get Koolada or Polar Blast to work with it. Koolada had a cardboardy off note and they both ate into the creaminess of the coconut something fierce. By front-loading the cooling using WS-23, I could finally freeze this sucker without sacrificing my coconut cream on the altar of coolant.
INW Pineapple - The third carryover, dropped down from 5.5% to 3% to get the pineapple-coconut balance right. I looked at this one differently than before. The original recipe was eventually built around INW Pineapple, which is so thin it required support from two other pineapples to put a good amount of pineapple meat on those bones and hold up against all that coconuttiness without things getting weird. But this time INW Pineapple is the one in the backup role. I thought VT Sugarloaf Pineapple might even be able to do it alone, but it imparted a strange lemony flavor when I tried to push it hard enough to balance properly. INW Pineapple makes a clean backup to bring the pineapple forward without any BS. VT Sugarloaf is the main reason why this recipe is better than the original that I worked so hard on so long ago. I think it makes the difference between a piña colada blended with fresh island pineapple and piña colada made from canned juice. It tastes fresher and more refreshing and has a dense base that gets down into that coconut. After testing 14 other pineapples, I never even bothered trying to use any of them pineapples until I reached for INW Pineapple to back it up. Even if you don’t care to try this recipe, get this flavor. I could easily be the difference between success and failure for whatever you’re trying to do with pineapple, as long as you don’t mind a short steep to get rid of a little metallic off-note that it has off a fresh shake.
Sweetener. Unnecessary here. Add some if you must, but try it without first.
Cover art by @mlNikon!
All my recipes could be better. For Mixers' Club's "a season for new beginnings," theme back in January, I went all the way back to the beginning and tried make an improved version of my very first recipe to post on ATF, a ridiculously over-complicated attempt to make a key lime custard bar with almond-coconut-graham crust that used 13 ingredients. Embarrassing. Here's the same profile tasting even better with just five ingredients. The first several attempts to drag that recipe four years into the future weren't quite right, but after months of very intermittent tinkering finally hit upon a combination I found delightful.
Named after the way I've spend a few too many New Years.
Coconut haters, don't be scared. It does not taste like coconut. The idea of harnessing a small amount of Lorann's take on Pina Colada to give this blue raspberry the unique richness of a ring pop was the last thing AlfredPudding gave me before he gave up vaping and mixing to go dress up in tactical gear to set farm animals free or whatever he's doing now. I just finally got around to putting the finishing touches on it and tweaking the concentrations for maximum nostalgia-trip authenticity. I don't think you could sub either of the berries or the pina colada and get similar results. But for the little bit of hard candy sheen the FW Hard Candy puts on it, if you don't have that but do happen to have TFA Apple Candy, 0.75% of that should do.
Does not need sweetener. Plenty of that with the WF Sour Blue Raspberry Candy.
Want some tunes to listen to while enjoying this? I might put together an "AlfredPudding left us" playlist.
That's it at the moment, but I'm open to suggestions on what to add to it.
Pink Guava... milk? Yes. The assignment was to take one of two colors - pink or blue - and add them to milk.
Love that Pink Guava, especially that bit of tropical funk on it. Pink plus stank = Pank. With some Hibiscus - which also tastes pink to me - to bridge the wide gap between grapefruity pank and thick moo juice. None of the usual recipe development here. The first version tasted exactly the way I wanted it to and I couldn't think of a way to improvement. Maybe you can?
A thick scoop of vanilla ice cream plunked down into a tall glass of sweet and tangy cherry soda. We all float down here.
Although, unlike the Paradise Cream, no one has asked for this discontinued as a one-shot by Chef's Flavours, here it is, anyway. This recipe was inspired by trying a soft drink called "Cheerwine" and imaging how it would be as a float. I needed a lot of candy cherry, so I pushed INW Cherries as far as could without getting medicinal off notes, then added as much FA Black Cherry as I could darken it with and still avoid that yuck. Still not enough cherry, but TFA Pomegranate worked very well to fill in the cherry to get where it needed to go without any issues. I used CAP Lemon Lime for the tart, citrusy quality of the soda. TFA Sweet And Tart served three purposes: More sweetness, more tartness, and that powdery aspect to try to emulate what bubbles would remain in the soda after ice cream was floated in it. You have to remember, this was before VT Fizzy Sherbet or FLV Citrus Soda existed. TFA VBIC was an easy route to ice cream, with TFA Whipped Cream the foamy part where ice cream meets soda. As with the Paradise Cream, I've been meaning to improve the recipe for some time now and then release the improved version... and just haven't gotten around to it. As with the Paradise Cream, when I do, it's definitely going to have the TFA VBIC replaced with LB's Vanilla Ice Cream. It might also a need touch of HS French Vanilla Ice Cream , and replacing TFA Whipped Cream with FLV's version. That combination of LB Vanilla Ice Cream, HS French Vanilla Ice Cream, and FLV Whipped Cream worked so well in TamVapes' Jacked Up Sundae. Of course that might take some rebalancing of the other ingredients, but I'm unlikely to abandon them, even for the likes of FLV CItrus Soda or VT Fizzy Sherbet. They WORK here. But until that all gets sorted out, I hope anyone who is interested enjoys the original recipe.
Sweet purple mango and rich vanilla ice cream come together to take you to paradise.
Since this recipe was discontinued as a one-shot by Chef's Flavours, I've gotten a couple of requests for the recipe. After being told today that someone spent a bunch of money trying to find the same passion fruit flavor that's in there (as you can see, there isn't one), I thought I'd better release the recipe just in case there was any chance of anything like that happening again. The FLV Mango + FA Violet combination is a pairing I've been enamoured of since Kopel released his recipe, Mango Beauregarde. I used it in this with his permission. The vanilla ice cream base is the same one I used for Longing, but with a lot more TFA VBIC to thicken it up against these thinner, juicer ingredients, like FLV Mango. I'm still in love with this profile, but I've been meaning to improve the recipe for some time now and then release the improved version... just haven't gotten around to it. When I do, it's definitely going to have the TFA VBIC replaced with LB's Ice Cream. It might also have a touch of VT Shisha Mango... and who knows what else. We'll see. In the meantime, hope anyone interested enjoys the original recipe.
LoOk, everyone knows that Chewy Sprees are superior to crunchy Sprees. And many people are saying that Grape is the best chewy Spree flavor. Now you can vape that.
TFA Energy Drink Doesn't taste exactly like anything IRL that I'm aware of, but if you gave it to me blindfolded and asked if it was either an energy drink or a grape Sweet Tart candy flavor, I'd be forced to go with grape Sweet Tart. It's got a lot going on, including some energy drink elements, but I get some candy grape in the top notes and a powdery, sugary finish that would certainly seal it as "supposed to be a grape Sweet-Tart" in blind either/or test.
But it's not grapey enough, so I added SC Grape from Bull City to it to push that candy grape flavor front and center. It's the LA Watermelon of grapes, like the essence of grape Blow Pop (minus the gum) on its own, but thin and flat. Which is fine, because this gets plenty of body from the Energy Drink and the magic of WF Chews Candy, which is really neat stuff. The top notes are a little sharper and tart and more like a vaguely fruity candy shell, while the base is more like a thick candy that rides the line between powdery and chewy, much like a chewy Spree. The tart part is such a mess of fruitiness that I can’t very clearly pick out a single fruit, but it leans a little more toward something like a candy apple and candy grape combination, other stuff behind it. I pick up a hint of vanilla in the powdery-to-chewy base that seems to contribute to the thickness and body or chewiness, kind of like when adding a very low dose of TFA Vanilla Swirl for volume in a candy fruit recipe and still having a bit of vanilla peeking out (not enough vanilla to show up in this recipe, though). And it works, lots of volume here. Lingering powdery but not chalky or overly dry sweetness. Just a super fun flavor to play with.
THIS IS HAWAIIAN PUNCH
If you've ever wanted to vape Hawaiian Punch and been frustrated by flavors like TFA Hawaiian Islands Punch Type, FW Tropical Punch, CAP Silverline Tropical Fruit Punch, and FLV Tropical Punch, which fall short, this recipe is for you.
Sweetener is optional but so highly recommended that I've left the high amount of FW Sweetener that I prefer with it in the recipe. It drives that super sugary drink experience home. You could use less. If you don't have FW and want to use CAP Super Sweet, 0.5 to 0.75% should get 'er done. Or again, use less if you prefer. TFA Sweetener is not recommended here. Coolants are optional but are not recommended. WS-23 kinda ruins it, unfortunately. A touch of FA Polar Blast doesn't hurt much, but it does somewhat distract from the experience.
This recipe is the product of a partnership in which I played a relatively minor role. I asked @AlfredPudding why he does this to me, refuses full credit for his work like he did with the Back Nine recipe and makes me be the one to share it, and he says it's to torture me. That's ok, I like the abuse. But this time, instead of merely asserting that Alfred did all the work and moving along to flavor notes, I offer a mostly unredacted report of the events that led to this recipe:
This all started when I tried Alfred's Cherry Bomb and told him I thought it was about 5% INW Pineapple shy of Hawaiian Punch. He sent me back a recipe he called "Counter Point" that did indeed have 5% INW Pineapple, but also had more Cherries, less Sweet Guava, FA Forest Fruit instead of Rainbow Candy, and CAP Yellow Peach instead of TFA Jackfruit. So I tried that and responded with "Counter Counter Point" - A recipe with little less Pineapple, a little less Peach, a little more Sweet Guava, some TFA Smooth to blend it together, and a bunch of sweetener that it seemed to be crying out for. Minor adjustments and fairly obvious additions. I got back a Counter Counter Counter Point, with a hair less Apricot and no more Forest Fruit. This was Hawaiian Punch.... but yet... not. It was too soft. More like Hawaiian love tap. The only difference in this final version is half as much Smooth as the Counter Counter Counter Point, as it is still providing the blending it needed but not over-softening its punch.
Congressman Devin Nunes fucks farm animals. But prosecutors in Fresno, California, have declined to pursue charges, determining that it's not abuse because his dinky little ding dong is too small for the animals to feel it. Putin has video of Trump giving Devin Nunes an oral creampie while Devin tries to pee on an underage hooker, but fails because Devin's stream ain't got that much steam. Devin Nunes is the lowest IQ person ever elected to Congress, he has a positively Gumpian level of intelligence, so dumb you won't believe how many school administrators got to plow his mom's squonker before he was allowed to graduate.
I don't know whether any of that is true. But I know "many people are saying" those things. I also know Devin Nunes hates free speech. He recently sued Twitter for allowing to exist a couple of parody accounts that hurt his poor little snowflake feelings. As result, the previously relatively unknown Twitter account for Devin Nunes' cow now has more followers than Devin Nunes himself. Now, he's also suing a newspaper's parent company because the paper printed a story about some people on a yacht doing cocaine with hookers who were possibly underage in 2015. A story that nobody read outside of Nunes' little corner of California four years ago. No one alleged Devin Nunes was on that yacht, used cocaine, or had sex with prostitutes, but his name came up due to his business connection with the incident via his partnership in a winery that was involved, so he's suing. Read the story that's got his little pink panties all in a bunch. Lyin' Devin Nunes is lying when he says the newspaper lied about him; it's all part of his new career as a professional victim.
And now #YachtCocaineProstitutes is soaring on Twitter, and will forever be tied to Devin Nunes.
I just wanted to vape this moment, the moment when the Streisand Effect became the Streisand-Nunes effect.
VT Blood Orange Champagne for the boat. FA Papaya for the hoes (ask Mitt Romney why). OoO Powdered Sugar for the nose.
This is damn delicious. V1 had Wild Melon instead of Papaya. I fell instantly in love with the combination of Powdered Sugar and Blood Orange Champagne, but Wild Melon just didn't seem like the best complement for it. Pondered many other melons, but none of the honeydews or watermelons seemed like a good idea. I got out FA Melon Cantaloupe and WF Ripe Galia Melon. Smelling them before deciding whether I really wanted to try them, I thought FA Melon Cantaloupe smelled right. Smelled WF Ripe Galia Melon and realized that particular flavor might be taking the prostitutes thing a little too literally, there's a reason why that one's nicknamed Butthole Melon. Then it hit me. Papaya. But TFA Papaya was too overwhelming, and even WF Papaya was a bit much. Went back and tried the Melon Cantaloupe and it was so much better than Wild Melon here that I thought I was done. But, I decided to try FA Papaya, just for the sake of due diligence. WOW am I glad I did. It fills out the bottom of this perfectly. Though Melon Cantaloupe was delicious, it's bit of rindyness was at war with the Blood Orange's artificiality. FA Papaya can be a little funky on it's own, but in this mix it made pure candy, Blood Orange-Papaya-Champagne Powder Candy, like a flavor of Pixie Stick that doesn't exist but if it did, it would be so good you might want to snort it.
Mixed Live with Fresh and Friends on 3/23 .
Wanted three scoops of vanilla ice cream topped with fresh ripe mango chunks and pineapple tidbits. Tastes more like that ice cream with fresh mango puree and crushed canned pineapple, but I'm happy with it. I'll call it a work in progress and see how it steeps out.
Swiped The Trinity Vanilla Ice Cream by Eyemakepizza; it's a deeply satisfying shake and vapeable vanilla ice cream base and I never thought to change it.
VT Shisha Mango and FLV Mango. Muah! Perfection. Ripe sweet mango right on top.
The pineapple part was a bit trickier. WF Pineapple Candy is a flavor I opened for the first time today and haven't tried as a single flavor. It smells like a kinder, gentler TFA Pineapple. But I remembered that one of the first things I ever made that I liked when I started mixing was a pineapple ice cream that was mostly TFA Pineapple and Vanilla Bean Ice Cream, with a little marshmallow to soften that sharp pineapple. I was advised to use it between 2 and 3% and back it up with another pineapple that would give it some body because it's a bit thin. I first tried it at 2.5% with 0.75% FLV Pineapple, but it tasted like pineapple candy in my ice cream, with some bits of underripe banana as well. This version with the Pineapple Candy down at 2% and swapping out the FLV Pineapple for CAP Golden Pineapple worked much better. I love it so much I set off my smoke alarm sucking it down greedily.
Don't hesitate to give the Trinity Vanilla Ice Cream a try, let Eyemakepizza know what you think, and pile your flavorite fruits or other ice cream toppings on it.