The perfect, simple, cream & sugared cup of coffee through the sweet looking glass of nostalgia.

I had my first cup of coffee in 1979 when I was six years old at the Marietta diner in Georgia at 1AM on a family road trip. This recipe is a love letter to one of my fondest childhood memories.


THE COFFEE MF Coffee & FA Tiramisu: I know the first question anyone will have is "Can I substitute the Medicine Flower Coffee in this?" the short answer is a resounding "Nope!" It's expensive, it's tough to mix with, the steep time is infuriating, and MF will short you out of at least 3ml of your costly 15ml bottle every time. It is still the best coffee flavoring you will ever get your hands on in this life, at least for the moment. If you truly want a delicious coffee vape with no skunky weirdness or dessert-like fuckery, bite the bullet and grab some MF Coffee. FA Tiramisu, aptly nicknamed "Booster", does exactly that, and gives it a nice little roasty/richness/sweetness boost to it at 0.50% without turning it into some overly-sweet Starbucked-up abomination. You might be able to sub this with INW Mocca, but, despite having this flavor, I've not tried it, and couldn't guess at a good percentage other than to say maybe 1% or less.

THE CREAM TFA Bavarian Cream, CAP Sweet Cream, CAP Vanilla Whipped Cream & CAP Marshmallow: I'm in love with TFA Bavarian Cream, and at 2% it perfectly balances that coffee, wrapping it in rich, snuggly creaminess without weighing it down too much. This you can absolutely substitute at the same percentage with your Bavarian Cream of choice, be it Lorann's, Jungle Flavor's, or Flavor West's, it's all good. CAP Sweet Cream adds a sweet dairy note, and lifts the Bavarian Cream out of the pudding zone. If you don't have it, a blend of 1% FLV Cream or FA Cream Fresh and 0.5% Vienna Cream will work, too. CAP Vanilla Whipped Cream adds a nice complexity to the cream, and at 1.5% doesn't add enough of a vanilla note to complicate matters. You can sub this with TFA Vanilla Swirl at the same percentage, but, CAP WC is just so much better here. And, finally, CAP Marshmallow at 1.5% makes the whole thing thick and lush, giving you satisfying, pillowy clouds, but, don't bother if you have Capella's "new" version of Marshmallow, because it's not the same thing, sadly. They introduced this modified version to deal with the global shortage of Tahitian vanilla, and it's a serious step down in quality. If you still have some OG Capella Marshmallow on hand use it for this, because it's perfect. (You can tell because it's dark brown in color and smells like vanilla sugar in the bottle. The New stuff is pale yellow and smells like nothing in the bottle.) If not, you can sub it with 1.5% TFA Marshmallow, or a mix of 1% TFA Marshmallow & 0.5% FA Marshmallow if you're feeling fancy.

Okay, so, this next part sucks, and I'm sorry, but, you cannot rush this recipe. It takes a full month to steep, minimum and not a second before. (Honestly, even longer is better) Don't mix it with a milk frother. Don't try to speed it up with heat/ultrasonic. Don't. Don't. Don't. Just make sure all of the flavors are meticulously shaken before they're dripped in, add your nicotine and preferred base, cap it tightly, shake the bejeezus out of it, note the day you mixed it and put it away somewhere cool and dark for at least 30 days. MF Coffee goes through some pretty gross and weird changes throughout the steeping process, and after more than a year and a half of working on this recipe, with countless revisions, I promise you, it won't be where it should be any sooner than that.

But, I swear, after that 30+ days is up, what you'll find in that bottle is a dark, rich, authentic cup of coffee with cream and a little sugar and nothing more. If you want to add anything else to it, please, go nuts, because I'm dying to see what people add to this base, but, all I was looking for from the start was just a real and accurate coffee vape. So, I beg you to mix this up 1:1 first, so you can taste it in all it's simple, satisfying glory.

Excellent variations I've found include: 1% DIYFS Holy Vanilla (or FA Vanilla Bourbon or CAP French Vanilla), or 0.30% FLV Rich Cinnamon, or a mix of 0.50% FLV Caramel & 0.50% FLV Butterscotch for some uber-sweet Starbucks style dessert-coffee-milkshake nonsense. I also imagine FW Butterscotch Ripple, FW Butter Pecan or FW Hazelnut would be bitchin', but I've not tried any of those yet, because I tend to find the recipe as-posted more than satisfying.

So, there you have it! I've said, and heard, for so long that there is no such thing as a good coffee vape that this recipe was more-or-less finished in May 2016, but, I've fearfully sat on it all this time, because I really wondered if it was as good as I thought it was. Which is why I'd like to thank user fairtradesloth for taking a leap of faith, buying all the ingredients, mixing it up, then coming back with the feedback that gave me the courage to finally post it. He's the real MVP!

Created: October 02, 2016 (almost 5 years ago)

% Vendor Flavor
(TPA) Bavarian Cream
(FA) Booster (tiramisu)
(MF) Coffee
(CAP) Marshmallow
(CAP) Sweet Cream
(CAP) Vanilla Whipped Cream
Total flavoring: 9.0% Steep Days: 30 Best VG: 70% Temperature:
This recipe is the property of RuntDastardly and released under the CC Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 license. You may not copy, derive or commercialize this recipe without following the terms of this license or the explicit permission of the creator.
User: AndreM Score: 5 Entered: about 4 years ago
Thank you for sharing your labor of love. Been vaping this (after the month's steep) for the past 3 weeks. The best ever!
User: Smoky Score: 5 Entered: over 4 years ago
Tried this after 3 weeks, phenomenal! Agree with everything rayonaudiSloth said
User: RayonaudiSloth Score: 5 Entered: over 4 years ago
I've been drinking coffee since I was 12 - it is one of my favorite things in this life and I've been chasing it in a vape since I started vaping 2.5 years ago. I found Nicoticket's Wakonda early on, which was the perfect blend of coffee and tobacco. Ever since I went to DIY, I've been looking for a good coffee, but unfortunately everything I have tried was either completely awful at worst or at best did not taste like coffee. I've tried many coffee flavorings and several recipes. The problem in part is that I've hated all the flavorings, even FA's offerings. However, after trying Dutchie, RuntDastardly's phenomenal stroopwafel juice, I knew I had to try this recipe. So I mixed it up, and set it aside for a month (ok--3 days shy of a month--I got antzy). Turns out that 1) MF's coffee flavoring is fantastic and 2) RuntDastardly never fails to concoct an absolutely breathtaking recipe, even when tackling the RatFuck of all flavor profiles, Coffee. She nailed it - this tastes like a bold, slightly creamy (just enough to take the edge off), dark cup of coffee. And I think it is masterful. This is easily an ADV for me and I highly advise that any coffee lovers give this a shot, even if you are as fatigued on the coffee-chase as I was. Mix, steep, sip - nirvana reached. I also commend the use of Tiramisu in this recipe, as Tiramisu usually has an off-putting note that makes me bletch, but it is literally the perfect amount here - perfectly balanced in such a way that (I believe) places a certain "roastiness" in the midst of the authentic and flavorful coffee. And the best part is, I think it is going to be the perfect base to add some caramel, butterscotch, perhaps maple syrup, and whatever other dessert-like fixings I may savvy. I did try a version with 1% WF Roasted Pecans and Cream added in and it was phenomenal (enhanced the sweetness and added a bit of a nutty note) and I look forward to experimenting more. But next step for Sloth? Mix up about 100+ml of this recipe verbatim, then about 100ml worth of various desserty twists. Because of RuntDastardly I now have 2 fabulous ADVs that blow everything else I've vaped out of the water. Many thanks, my friend, for yet another masterpiece.