Congressman Devin Nunes fucks farm animals. But prosecutors in Fresno, California, have declined to pursue charges, determining that it's not abuse because his dinky little ding dong is too small for the animals to feel it. Putin has video of Trump giving Devin Nunes an oral creampie while Devin tries to pee on an underage hooker, but fails because Devin's stream ain't got that much steam. Devin Nunes is the lowest IQ person ever elected to Congress, he has a positively Gumpian level of intelligence, so dumb you won't believe how many school administrators got to plow his mom's squonker before he was allowed to graduate.
I don't know whether any of that is true. But I know "many people are saying" those things. I also know Devin Nunes hates free speech. He recently sued Twitter for allowing to exist a couple of parody accounts that hurt his poor little snowflake feelings. As result, the previously relatively unknown Twitter account for Devin Nunes' cow now has more followers than Devin Nunes himself. Now, he's also suing a newspaper's parent company because the paper printed a story about some people on a yacht doing cocaine with hookers who were possibly underage in 2015. A story that nobody read outside of Nunes' little corner of California four years ago. No one alleged Devin Nunes was on that yacht, used cocaine, or had sex with prostitutes, but his name came up due to his business connection with the incident via his partnership in a winery that was involved, so he's suing. Read the story that's got his little pink panties all in a bunch. Lyin' Devin Nunes is lying when he says the newspaper lied about him; it's all part of his new career as a professional victim.
And now #YachtCocaineProstitutes is soaring on Twitter, and will forever be tied to Devin Nunes.
I just wanted to vape this moment, the moment when the Streisand Effect became the Streisand-Nunes effect.
VT Blood Orange Champagne for the boat. FA Papaya for the hoes (ask Mitt Romney why). OoO Powdered Sugar for the nose.
This is damn delicious. V1 had Wild Melon instead of Papaya. I fell instantly in love with the combination of Powdered Sugar and Blood Orange Champagne, but Wild Melon just didn't seem like the best complement for it. Pondered many other melons, but none of the honeydews or watermelons seemed like a good idea. I got out FA Melon Cantaloupe and WF Ripe Galia Melon. Smelling them before deciding whether I really wanted to try them, I thought FA Melon Cantaloupe smelled right. Smelled WF Ripe Galia Melon and realized that particular flavor might be taking the prostitutes thing a little too literally, there's a reason why that one's nicknamed Butthole Melon. Then it hit me. Papaya. But TFA Papaya was too overwhelming, and even WF Papaya was a bit much. Went back and tried the Melon Cantaloupe and it was so much better than Wild Melon here that I thought I was done. But, I decided to try FA Papaya, just for the sake of due diligence. WOW am I glad I did. It fills out the bottom of this perfectly. Though Melon Cantaloupe was delicious, it's bit of rindyness was at war with the Blood Orange's artificiality. FA Papaya can be a little funky on it's own, but in this mix it made pure candy, Blood Orange-Papaya-Champagne Powder Candy, like a flavor of Pixie Stick that doesn't exist but if it did, it would be so good you might want to snort it.
Created: April 10, 2019 (over 2 years ago)