Flakey Filth Fest

You posh ATF types can finally mix this without slumming it with us plebs over on ELR 😁. Just so you know though, the real classy types buy the one shot 😉 https://www.chefsflavours.co.uk/collections/sasq-shots

Jason Donovan pushed open the door of Flamin' Galah's, the best bakery in all of Oz. Rack off Jase, you're barred! Snarled Carl the manager. Donovan had been one of several ex Neighbours actors who (on a reunion piss up) had descended on the shop the previous week causing a huge scene which culminated in Brad Willis actor, Scott Michaelson, getting worked up by Natalie Imbruglia and jizzing in the dough mixer while the staff were distracted.

Donovan spent ten minutes explaining how bad he felt for his part in the proceedings. He offered money for any spoilt stock and even to work in store to compensate for the upset and distress they'd caused. He explained how much he missed being able to pop in for a pastry treat. It would certainly never happen again. Steadily, Carl seemed to come around and became more jovial, ultimately the men shook hands.

Wanna take a 'snot block', Jase? Fresh batch in the back there, Carl offered. Vanilla custard slices were Donovan's ultimate treat and Carl knew he couldn't refuse. As Jason left with his decadent pastry in a white paper sack, Carl grinned from ear to ear. He imagined Jason's shock as his bite squished the wobbly custard filling and he found the koala turd hidden in the centre.

Vanilla slice, custard slice, mille feuille, cremeschnitte, krempita, snot block… whatever you call it it's delicious as fuck, that's why almost every country has there own take on it. This is based on the British version, like you'd get down Gregg's - or a proper bakery. Flakey buttery pastry on top and bottom made here from VTA croissant, OOO pie crust and WF crispy wafer. These dirty strips sandwich a thick custard debauchery made from Fa custard premium, WF flan and Flv vanilla pudding, the gentle caramel note from the flan doesn't appear to upset the balance as I worried it might. Flv frosting for the traditional fondant icing and sweetener if you want it but it's pretty sweet without. It's good from the shake then it gets better, much better at about 3 weeks if you can wait.