Congressman Devin Nunes fucks farm animals. But prosecutors in Fresno, California, have declined to pursue charges, determining that it's not abuse because his dinky little ding dong is too small for the animals to feel it. Putin has video of Trump giving Devin Nunes an oral creampie while Devin tries to pee on an underage hooker, but fails because Devin's stream ain't got that much steam. Devin Nunes is the lowest IQ person ever elected to Congress, he has a positively Gumpian level of intelligence, so dumb you won't believe how many school administrators got to plow his mom's squonker before he was allowed to graduate.
I don't know whether any of that is true. But I know "many people are saying" those things. I also know Devin Nunes hates free speech. He recently sued Twitter for allowing to exist a couple of parody accounts that hurt his poor little snowflake feelings. As result, the previously relatively unknown Twitter account for Devin Nunes' cow now has more followers than Devin Nunes himself. Now, he's also suing a newspaper's parent company because the paper printed a story about some people on a yacht doing cocaine with hookers who were possibly underage in 2015. A story that nobody read outside of Nunes' little corner of California four years ago. No one alleged Devin Nunes was on that yacht, used cocaine, or had sex with prostitutes, but his name came up due to his business connection with the incident via his partnership in a winery that was involved, so he's suing. Read the story that's got his little pink panties all in a bunch. Lyin' Devin Nunes is lying when he says the newspaper lied about him; it's all part of his new career as a professional victim.
And now #YachtCocaineProstitutes is soaring on Twitter, and will forever be tied to Devin Nunes.
I just wanted to vape this moment, the moment when the Streisand Effect became the Streisand-Nunes effect.
VT Blood Orange Champagne for the boat. FA Papaya for the hoes (ask Mitt Romney why). OoO Powdered Sugar for the nose.
This is damn delicious. V1 had Wild Melon instead of Papaya. I fell instantly in love with the combination of Powdered Sugar and Blood Orange Champagne, but Wild Melon just didn't seem like the best complement for it. Pondered many other melons, but none of the honeydews or watermelons seemed like a good idea. I got out FA Melon Cantaloupe and WF Ripe Galia Melon. Smelling them before deciding whether I really wanted to try them, I thought FA Melon Cantaloupe smelled right. Smelled WF Ripe Galia Melon and realized that particular flavor might be taking the prostitutes thing a little too literally, there's a reason why that one's nicknamed Butthole Melon. Then it hit me. Papaya. But TFA Papaya was too overwhelming, and even WF Papaya was a bit much. Went back and tried the Melon Cantaloupe and it was so much better than Wild Melon here that I thought I was done. But, I decided to try FA Papaya, just for the sake of due diligence. WOW am I glad I did. It fills out the bottom of this perfectly. Though Melon Cantaloupe was delicious, it's bit of rindyness was at war with the Blood Orange's artificiality. FA Papaya can be a little funky on it's own, but in this mix it made pure candy, Blood Orange-Papaya-Champagne Powder Candy, like a flavor of Pixie Stick that doesn't exist but if it did, it would be so good you might want to snort it.
Mixed Live with Fresh and Friends on 3/23 .
Wanted three scoops of vanilla ice cream topped with fresh ripe mango chunks and pineapple tidbits. Tastes more like that ice cream with fresh mango puree and crushed canned pineapple, but I'm happy with it. I'll call it a work in progress and see how it steeps out.
Swiped The Trinity Vanilla Ice Cream by Eyemakepizza; it's a deeply satisfying shake and vapeable vanilla ice cream base and I never thought to change it.
VT Shisha Mango and FLV Mango. Muah! Perfection. Ripe sweet mango right on top.
The pineapple part was a bit trickier. WF Pineapple Candy is a flavor I opened for the first time today and haven't tried as a single flavor. It smells like a kinder, gentler TFA Pineapple. But I remembered that one of the first things I ever made that I liked when I started mixing was a pineapple ice cream that was mostly TFA Pineapple and Vanilla Bean Ice Cream, with a little marshmallow to soften that sharp pineapple. I was advised to use it between 2 and 3% and back it up with another pineapple that would give it some body because it's a bit thin. I first tried it at 2.5% with 0.75% FLV Pineapple, but it tasted like pineapple candy in my ice cream, with some bits of underripe banana as well. This version with the Pineapple Candy down at 2% and swapping out the FLV Pineapple for CAP Golden Pineapple worked much better. I love it so much I set off my smoke alarm sucking it down greedily.
Don't hesitate to give the Trinity Vanilla Ice Cream a try, let Eyemakepizza know what you think, and pile your flavorite fruits or other ice cream toppings on it.
Mixed Live on SaturDIY'ing with Fresh & Friends.
Set out to make a Phillies/White Owl Banana Blunt. This is not that. After version 1 came out tasting like eating a banana marshmallow in a tobacco shop, I whipped up this remix with help from Fresh and his chat. It came out too good for a bottom shelf blunt. This is a top-shelf banana cigar. It's the Banana Abuela.
Edit: Additional notes posted on Reddit here: https://www.reddit.com/r/DIY_eJuice/comments/awdipl/march_2019_recipe_thread/ei5wbe9/
Unless you’re a pepper taster who can’t vape TFA White Chocolate, there was nothing wrong with @ExclusiveGirl’s Green Tea Kit Kat recipe from October 2016. It was a great idea, well-crafted from the best ingredients at the time. But at the time was more than two years ago. We’ve got better tools for this job now. FE Green Tea is better than TFA (grass) or FA (ass) but it’s still too floral, thankfully we now have FLV Eisai Tea, which tastes much closer to the matcha flavoring in those Green Tea Kit Kats. WF Crispy Wafer also better job than CAP Sugar Cookie in getting that crispy inside. I’ve replaced TFA White Chocolate with a combination of FLV and FW White Chocolates – no more black pepper and a great combination of top and mid-range notes that I'm again stealing from @jbird – and added some sweetness. Earlier versions were missing some creaminess, so I carried over one ingredient from the original recipe, CAP Vanilla Whipped Cream, which fills a small gap in the white chocolate duo.
WF Butter Pecan Pie is yummy, but its name drove me nuts and I had to try to "fix" it. It just tastes like butter pecan ice cream minus all of the ice cream. Or, something that could pass for the top part of the pie, with all the baked pecans, cooked sugar sweetness, and extra butter. But where's the eggy goopy inside? Why does it have "pie" in the name when I'm not getting even a hint of crust. FA Apple Pie takes some time to come out but I'm only getting the hint of pie crust I wanted from it at 1%, no apple or other fruit, no apple pie spice. INW Custard fills it out wonderfully. Three other versions didn't work the way I wanted them to. FA Custard Premium 2% was enough to take over and turn it into a custard recipe. Lovely, but off-topic. Not a pie. CAP Vanilla Custard 2% fit the pie profile and tasted good but that unmistakable Capella vanilla stuck out, calling too much attention to itself in an annoying way. The INW Creme Brulee 2% that someone suggested gave it a nice sweetness but wasn't custardy enough for a pie filling and tasted a little burnt.
Ginger, Pear, Tobacco
If you decide to try this or it inspires you to mix something similar, please thank @ChemicalBurnVictim. He was one of the sources of inspiration and it was his suggestion to switch from using FLV Virginia Tobacco to FLV Oriental Tobacco that gave it that Turkish pipe tobacco vibe that I was looking for.
This all started with wanting to “fix” INW Falcon Eye to be more like a combination of what INW told me it would be, what CBV told me it tasted like to him, and what I tasted. CBV said it mostly tasted like ginger to him; my theory is that his constant vaping of tobaccos makes it easy for him to pick out anything in a tobacco flavor that isn’t tobacco. When I tried Falcon Eye, I got a sweet cigarette tobacco with a solid hit of spice, but while that spice tasted more like ginger than any other spice I could identify, it wasn’t clearly ginger to me. It was weird, but nice.
Oddly, INW calls Falcon Eye “tobacco with a hint of pear,” with no mention of ginger or spice. Fucking Poland. It did not taste like pear to me, but it did have a strong hint of that sort of earthy skin note that some pear flavors have, without the rest of the pear’s pomaceous body and juicy sweetness.
All this just made me really want a ginger-pear-bacco, so I made one, and it turned out pretty great. I used NF Ginger to pull that odd gingery-spice in a distinctly ginger direction. There’s a good reason why this is one of only two of the whole Nature Flavors’ line you can buy at BCF. It’s super solid as a ginger flavor, very spicy, super accurate. Not nearly as sharp and wet as the very fresh-tasting Vape Train Ginger Root, so probably a bit more versatile than that one. But, still more along the lines of raw ginger rather than dried ginger spice powder, ginger ale syrup, or candied ginger. Very slightly earthy, not floral at all, some thick body to it but not syrupy or creamy. As much as I enjoy FLV Ginger and CAP Gingerbread, if I could only have one ginger, it would be this one.
I used MB Shape Up Pear to fill in the missing pear. This is easily the best single-flavor pear out there. It’s everything you could want in a pear and would otherwise have to mix different concentrates together to get. It’s bold and sweet and juicy and crisp, with a lot of apple-like texture and body, and just a little earthy realism, all well-balanced, smooth, with no off notes for me. Just a perfect pear. If I could only have one pear flavor it would be FA because it’s so useful in sweetening and juicifying a plethora of other fruits, but if I want to really vape a PEAR, this is the one.
And then there were the tobaccos, meant to take the mild, malleable tobacco in Falcon Eye and give it some definition as a robust but lighter pipe tobacco that could complement pear and ginger. I wanted to avoid darkness, cocoa, coffee, caramel, and nutty accents that the pipe-like tobaccos have, but still have a pipe tobacco. I wanted to walk into a weird boutique tobacco shop and see some light brown leaf, be told it’s “ginger pear pipe tobacco,” and have Falkor be a deep nose-full of what that smelled like. Users of FLV Virginia Tobacco can maybe tell why I went with a Kentucky + Virginia first? It was a mistake, though. The result was roll-your-own cigarette ginger pear tobacco. CBV came to the rescue by suggesting Oriental instead of Virginia, which until now was an underused flavor for me, and keeping the little bit of that subtly spicy and darker Kentucky Blend in the mix.
Steep Time: This is actually great after sitting overnight. The ginger will taste strong at first, but after a few hits I get used to it. Still, it’s more of a GINGER pear tobacco. Shortly afterward, the FLV tobaccos seem to fade a bit and more pear comes out more, making a ginger PEAR tobacco. After a couple of weeks, they come back, the ginger settles down, and the mix stays relatively stable. In the end, the pear is no longer as prominent as I originally intended it to be, but the juice has that elusive, perfect wet/dry balance between the pear and tobaccos, which, together with the spice keeping things interesting, makes it hard to put down and worth putting out.
An Arnold Palmer spiked with Bourbon.
This is not really my recipe. It was supposed to be a collaboration with me, @AlfredPudding, and Isuamadog. But you know how there’s often that one guy on a group project who does all the work? Yeah, that was not me. This is really AlfredPudding’s recipe. If he tries to protest and declare otherwise, don’t listen to him. He’s only being overly humble and modest.
FLV Lemon Tea is the heart of this thing, the star of the show. “What? But it’s only at 1% and TFA Sweet Tea is at a whopping 14%?!”
Yes. Usually using one flavor to bend another involves adding a small amount of something to pull another flavor in one direction or another or turn it into something it isn’t. But in this case, the relatively strong Lemon Tea is getting pulled slightly by the stupidly weak TFA Sweet Tea. Things taste different when they’re heated and Lemon Tea tastes like hot tea with lemon and no sugar. TFA makes it more of a half-sweet tea with lemon, that tastes more like iced tea. TFA Sweet Tea wouldn’t work for this by itself because it doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to these other flavors, but Lemon Tea does, it just needed to get bent. We don’t just want tea with a lemon wedge, though, we want lemonade. INW Shisha Lemon and CAP Super Sweet does that. The Shisha Lemon sits on the fence between candy and natural lemon juice. Pairing it with some sucralose and preservative magic transforms it into a solid lemonade flavor. The result tastes like lemonade made from a powder mix, but with few lemon slices added for that fresher flavor thanks to Lemon Tea’s more natural lemon flavor.
The Bourbon Trifecta: The triple bourbon flavors were used because they each have their own strengths. VT Bourbon gives us that boozy top note that lets you know right away this is a cocktail. Think about it; if you raise a Back Nine, Dirty Palmer, or whatever you want to call it, to your face, the first thing you’re going to notice is that there’s bourbon in there, along with the lemon if real lemons were involved at all. VT does that. But this drink is shaken or stirred and the Bourbon isn’t just sitting on top. There’s a deeper, sweeter flavor mingled with the lemonade, one where you can almost taste the corn used to make the sour mash that eventually became Bourbon. That’s where the TFA Kentucky Bourbon comes in. Finally, there’s the flavor of the charred oak barrel in which the Bourbon was aged mingled with the more astringent, earthy aspects of tea. Only FLV Bourbon is capable of that delivering that. The Bourbon Trifecta.
FA Polar Blast was a final addition meant to make this refreshment extra refreshing and make the “cold things should be cold” crowd happy. It was chosen over WS-23 because it’s a more of a back-end cooling that doesn’t get weird with the VT Bourbon’s warm booze top note the way WS-23 does. It still had to be used relatively lightly to also avoid interfering too much with the tea at the end, but is present enough to be reminiscent of an ice cube sliding over and touching your lip just before you lower the glass after taking a drink.
FORTUNE FLAVORS THE BOLD!
Are you brave enough to try this? It's modeled after the tangy, sweet, and spicy frozen Mexican confection. Doesn't taste quite the same, but scratches the same itch for an icy spicy treat. I used both WS-23 and Polar Blast for a well-rounded inhale and exhale cooling, and lots of it.. For the spiciness of chamoy, there's FLV Heat and Apple Filling. The cinnamon in apple filling doesn't quite taste like cinnamon used so low with other strong ingredients, but it gives some body to the heat so it's not just disembodied capsaicin-type heat. The gooey apple part contributes to Jelly Candy and Sweet and Tart creating something reminiscent of the sweet and tangy part of chamoy. Jelly Candy also helps clean up some of CAP Sweet Mango's overripe nonsense. Super Sweet, like Apple Filling, also does double duty. Besides the obvious sweetening, it helps drag that Heat onto the lips and tongue and makes it linger, resulting a long-lasting fire and ice sensation. Finally the mangoes. I was surprised how much how much FLV Mango and CAP Sweet Mango it took stand up to all this other stuff, but with each new version I kept adding more and more until it worked. I also tried using VT Shisha Mango but it was too piney that didn't play well with the rest of the mix.
Impropriety + Papaya + Tea
A refreshing iced tea with sweet papaya syrup.
SkiddlzNinja did it first. Check out his Tenacious T recipe. It was the inspiration for this though I haven't tried it yet; I just wanted to try a simpler mix of papaya and tea first. When I saw Tenacious T, the combination of TFA's Sweet Tea and Papaya looked like a stroke of genius, just imagining the way they'd taste together. But possibly a mild challenge to pull off, since one of those is a brutal bully that can easily get way too funky and the other is a shrinking violet. This is just a simple recipe that celebrates that combination.
I'm surprised there aren't more recipes using TFA Sweet Tea out there. Is my taster broken? As best I can tell, it does a fine job of emulating that sort of fast food drive thru sweet tea flavor. The only problem is that it's ridiculously weak in more ways than one. First, it takes about 6 or 7% of it to taste like much of anything at all. I could easily see needing 15% in a recipe. But at TFA prices, I'm not terribly worried about that. A bigger problem is that it can easily get almost completely obliterated in a mix. "I know I put a ton of Sweet Tea in here, where'd it go?" Accoutrements must be added carefully .
TFA Papaya is the opposite, much stronger in concentration than most TFA flavors and prone to pushing other flavors around. And getting violently FUNKY. Just like a real, ripe, papaya. Careful not to spill it on anything. Papaya for weeks if you do. Starting at 1% and working up 0.1% at a time until it's too much, then backing down, is my approach to taming this beast. Even at 1.4% it mostly overpowers the tea, but so would putting papaya syrup in a tea unless it's a hearty brew.
FA Apricot does a fantastic job of propping up the Papaya fruitiness without increasing the funk or calling too much attention to itself. FA Pear/INW Cactus 0.25% each just a touch of sweet and wet juicy goodness, but not too much of either.
Optional: Add Sweetener and/or Coolant to taste. I've been enjoying this with 0.25% FW Sweetener but I live in the southern USA where sweet tea is SWEET. Speaking of the South, WS-23. It's so hot and I needed another cool, refreshing recipe. I like it with this at 0.75% as an "over ice" type versus "frozen solid" amount of coolant, but coolant tolerance varies from one person to the next.
Give a mix and let me know what you think Or better yet, use a ludicrous-looking amount of TFA Sweet Tea and relatively small dose of your fruit of choice and make your own fruity sweet ice tea to help get you though the rest of summer.
A Bourbon-infused Peanut Butter
Inspiration for this recipe came from two places. First, reading a news article about the EU striking back against the Trump Trade War with targeted tariffs on US peanut butter and Bourbon (as well as OJ and motorcycles). It was already a work in progress that had sort of been back-burnered but got a second wind when I watched Wayne Walker try to turn his Blackout recipe into a milkshake. You can see the influence of Blackout on this final version, with the TFA Bavarian Cream and FW Hazelnut used to support the Peanut Butter. Blackout also used FA Caramel and TFA Brown Sugar, and here you see them consolidated in one concentrate, FLV Caramel. This stuff ties the recipe together in a way that other ingredients in previous attempts didn't. One thing both Bourbon and peanut butter flavors have in common is that they pair exceptionally well with caramel and brown sugar-type flavorings.
TFA DX Peanut Butter. You might be wondering about the DX Peanut Butter. Sure, you could sub TFA Peanut Butter. But here is why you shouldn't: It's fucking better. Like, every PB recipe ever made with TFA Peanut Butter should probably be reformulated to be made with the DX version instead. That much better. Apparently others have come before her and I should have paid attention to them, but the DX version wasn't on my radar until @RinVapes used it in her Cereal Bar recipe and talked about it on Mixin Vixens. Had Rin lost her mind? TFA DX flavors are disgusting. They've taken out the delicious diketones and replaced them with vomit flavor! The couple of DX flavors I'd tried in past made me dry heave. But my curiosity was sparked so I checked TFA's spec sheets and guess what? There's no barfy butyric acid in TFA DX Peanut Butter, just pyraziny goodness and some vanillin. So naturally, I had to try this. WOW! TFA Peanut Butter, you're dead to me. It's like comparing past-the-sell-by-date dollar store peanut butter to Smucker's Natural. Still seems to have some of the problems of TFA Peanut Butter (weak, dries out and gets muddy with a steep, probably needs a good shake before using because it separates but that's good practice anyway) but the flavor and authenticity is top notch in my opinion, far batter than any other PB flavor I've tried and there have been a lot of them.
Sweetener: Always optional, and you might want to add some. I've left it out because I think FLV Caramel adds a plenty of sweetness to this and gives it a lingering, brown sugary finish.
Steeping: Overnight, and while I've not tried this exact recipe with long steep, earlier versions suggest that I probably don't want to. PB just doesn't seem to be built for long steeping.
You're crazy, PB and Bourbon don't go together. Yes, they do. Peanut Butter Infused Bourbon is a very real and beautiful thing and you can make it yourself at home if you don't believe me. Now, this is not that, this is Bourbon-infused peanut butter, simply because that's what I wanted to vape. But, if you wanted to make a peanut butter infused Bourbon vape I think that would be easy enough using this recipe as a starting place but turning the PB down by half, roughly doubling the bourbon flavors, and probably adding some VT Bourbon for more of a boozy bite (TFA, FLV, and VT are the Holy Trinity of bourbon flavors - one for sweetness, one for charred oak, and one to booze it up).